Someone wrote in [personal profile] kpsm2kink 2014-07-21 08:25 am (UTC)

bambam the truth bringer, pg-13 (ig?)

i'm sorry #itried

“all right! i’m gonna drop all the honorifics for the moment,” bambam the love master said, closing his eyes and bending his legs into the lotus position. yugyeom facepalmed, while the other five boys just stared at him with some snorts and chuckles included.
“JACKSON!” bambam suddenly yelled, making the said boy jump and spit some multilingual curses. “whatareyoudoingyoulittleshi— yes, master?” jackson sat upright, trying so hard to look so serious that he almost went cross-eyed.
bambam sharply turned his head to him and without opening his eyes, spoke in a faux deep voice, “your burberry cologne might help you get some, but work on your hyena laugh or you’ll be plagued with one night stands.” everyone burst out into a big laugh, except for youngjae, who was too busy writing notes and looking concentrated. jackson’s face turned angry red, stuffing jb’s mouth with a sock from sheer annoyance.
“jaebum,” again, that ominous voice. jb froze, the sock still in his mouth as he waited for bambam to continue. “you try too hard, then get angry when things don’t go your way. also, i don’t know why you’re laughing, we all know why your previous relationship failed.”
jb’s eyes grew 7 sizes, spitting the sock aside and lunging forward, “THAT’S NOT FAIR, YOU TOOK AN OATH—“ his screaming prompting the rest of the boys to hold him back.
“i did, but what’s the point when i was the last one to know?” bambam’s eyes suddenly went wide open, throwing imaginary daggers into jb’s face, who still struggled to calm down. “that’s what you get for not trusting your love master. you already know why shit went wrong anyway, you don’t need my advice. next! who’s next? since everybody knows youngjae is a virgin who can’t drive-“ youngjae opened his mouth to complain, but closed it right away- “let’s get to jinyoung. ahhhh, the luckiest one from all of us. you got mark between your sheets, but you both thought it wasn’t enough and invited another dick into your bed. how greedy. like apostle luke hyungr said, beware of greed or it can be your downfall. though… was it really the burberry, or something else?”
this time, three faces turned red. everybody knew bambam was speaking the truth, so instead of arguing, they all sat in silence, until jinyoung piped up, “it was the dirty talk diversity.” that just made jb even more pressed and he barked, “does my dirty talk suck, then??? i even learned dirty spanish for you!” jb’s complaints were completely drowned out with jackson’s laugh, who hollered, “your spanish sounds like russian after a bottle of vodka! nothing beats french with canto accent, right, jinyoung?” he winked suggestively at his embarrassed boyfriend, who tried to hide himself behind the other boyfriend cackling at the whole situation.
bambam cleared his throat. “keep that shit to yourself, you kinky bastards. since yugyeom gets a different kind of love advice from me, i’m done for today. please hold jb until i’m at least 20 feet away from here. thanks!” he quickly stood up, disappearing with the speed of light. jb immediately went after him, foaming at the mouth and soon, cries of ‘hyung, it was a joke! i don’t wanna clean the toilet!!!!’ could be heard from every corner of the dorm, creating enough entertainment for the rest of the day.

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